Published on 01/01/2026 12:00 by Evie

90 Days to a Habit: Part 1

Good morning everyone! This is the first blog post of a serries I am calling “90 days to a Habit” with the basic idea being this serries to follow my own attempt to build stronger habits with the new year and help flex all of the muscles to have a successful and productive 2026. This will likely involve a recount of my morning and the previous day, some daily wins, and some challenges coming up along with what will likely be a small rant about a random topic. My goal in this is to both hold myself accountable and create a habit of posting stuff her rather than doom scrolling on social media. Anyway lets get this started!

24 Hour Recap

Yesterday

This whole last little bit has been little more than a blue between the time off of work, the copious amounts of substances used, and the consistent buzz that fills the endless gap between christmas and new years. Thankfully, this has given me a little bit of time to reflect on goals and help get me in to position to launch into the new year ready to go.

Daily workout

I spent 25 minutes on the rowing machine this morning working my way through the album “Prelude to Ecstasy” by The Last Dinner Party. I will say that “Caesar on the TV Screen” and “The Feminine Urge” are great songs for a solid entry level H.I.T.T workout.

Therapy Exercise: Naming the Parts

For my therapy exercise this morning I wanted to focus on one part of Internal Family Systems therapy involving trying to name and categorize the different parts of the internal family system. With this I was able to name the obvious ones I have spoken about previously, but now also two new Exiles including ones trying to protect me from embarrassment and also one who is trying to push me to sacrifice myself and my needs for others when they need it. While neither of these parts are intended to harm me their over sensitivity and power in the system are oversized and I should work on integrating them in a more healthy way.

Daily Rant: IFS is Awesome and why I may still need EMDR

So my rant for today is going to be talking about how much I love IFS as a therapy style but how even if IFS is awesome there is still things that are better processed or treated with different therapy types. Internal Family Systems therapy has not only helped me better understand my own mind but also how to better manage it as well. That the individual fractured parts of myself that float around in my soup of consciousness are not indications of being permanently broken or unable to truly live a normal life, but rather that they must be named, spoken too, and listened too as well. Not in order to bind them together in some unbreakable rope of normalcy but to let them be free of it and to stop constricting them to the point where the purpose that they serve begins to hurt rather than help.

However, not every part can be named, especially when naming that part and the stability of the system are diametrically opposed to one another. When rather than knowing what is going on and being able to name it, that part hides behind memories that can no longer be recalled or can only be recalled in bits and pieces or when that part is simply so old and so hurtful that it becomes locked away unable to even be acknowledged let alone named, integrated, and understood.

So in pursuit of true healing my therapist recommended EMDR therapy. Especially given that over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with much higher intensity and more frequent emotional flashbacks that involve things I did not remember until said flashbacks. They hit me like a mental flashbang and have even started pushing past the masking I do to try and contain them to get through the usual work day, social outing, etc. EMDR is a therapy practice involving using eye movement combined with traditional psychotherapy to assist people in processing traumatic events and, hopefully, help process these memories instead of the current method of repressing them until they bubble up to the surface. Hopefully this works but it also means ANOTHER therapist to get comfortable with, ANOTHER therapy appointment to make and keep, and of course ANOTHER cost to the medical care budget, but I will say that if I could work through all of this and at least live the rest of my life not having to control constant emotional flashbacks and these issues I will GALDLY pay that cost.